Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Observing My Inner Critic

"As I create mental spaciousness, I am allowing my natural state of love and bliss to shine through."

I recently realized that I have an inner critic that is always reviewing, analyzing, commenting, and critiquing my actions.  These are my thoughts.  While I can always control my thoughts, it is not always easy.  In fact, I have found it is more practical to allow the thoughts to continue and just observe them.  I am not a very good 24/7 observer of my thoughts.  When, however, I notice these critical thoughts, I have recently started devoting more energy to observing them.

When they come up, I have the attitude in my observation of "here are those critical thoughts again..."  My attitude is one of a loving father observing a child that is engaged in some sort of ignorant non-beneficial, behavior.

I have only been on the "thought observation" mission for less than a year now.  Once I started it, I noticed immediate benefits (as in within the first 5 minutes). I have noticed that I am best at doing this when I have had enough sleep, earlier in the day, and usually during and shortly after meditation.  After that, I easily become wrapped up in my train of thoughts throughout the day.  I have been making steady improvements, however.

This latest realization of the need to observe my inner critic, which, in affect, silences this "voice", is the other shoe to drop on my spiritual path.  The first shoe being the realization that the spiritual path is the highest goal for me in this life.  Why is that?

My mind leans towards being very critical and over-analytical.  These thoughts go masquerading as "me" but they are far from me.  They are part of my upbringing and remnants of the past.  These thoughts want me to be "not me."  As I have brought my loving awareness to them, they have started to dissipate.  I am noticing more mental spaciousness as I am starting to hear silence more.

For example, I might be late to work.  In the past, I would think through the 5 reasons why I was late, felt bad about it, and shamed myself for this behavior. Now, I will observe these thoughts.  I will consciously expand the love inside my heart for myself and just love me for being me.  I will take the attitude that I am trying my best and that there must have been a good reason at the time for my tardiness.  I will reserve making any observations on how I can improve in this area until just before I go to bed at night.

I will take a bit of time right here to play devil's advocate and see if there is any benefit to being critical of myself in real-time. Let's say that it is useful to have this immediate beneficial information of what I could have done differently, that something else comes up that day where I use that knowledge. Or, maybe I will forget the contextual information about what I could have done differently or forget to do the self-review at all that day. I submit that these slight benefits do not outweigh the effect of these critical thoughts in everyday life. I feel worse because of them. It takes me out of the present moment as I dwell on the past. The thoughts are "caught up in the moment" and do not see the big picture of why I made the mistake. In short, these critical thoughts are out-of-alignment with life.

There is little benefit and more ill effects from me endlessly rehashing situations, events, analyzing my every move and why this or that could not have been done better.  Instead of this real-time self-commentary, I have decided to devote a few minutes towards the end of each day where I will review that day's activities to see if there is anything I can learn.  Learning from mistakes and doing self-review is important, however I have chosen to engage in this activity in a set time-frame once per day.  This is a good way to convince my analytical side that the activity will still take place just in a different way.  As I create mental spaciousness, I am allowing my natural state of love and bliss to shine through.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Taking Care of Myself First

"If I take care of myself and my basic needs, I contribute to my own personal power and sense of self worth."

Like many things in life, there are many different approaches that achieve the same goal.  On the spiritual path, I have found that my instinctive approach to something is completely backwards.  I tend to look at the goal and then work backwards from that.  For example, I may be unhappy with a particular circumstance.  Conventional wisdom wants me to put all of my attention and energy on changing the circumstance.

I always have two choices.  I can try to change the circumstance or I can accept it for what it is.  I always have this choice, too: focus on the inner life or focus on the outer life.  Focusing on the inner life may mean that I accept the circumstance as part of the Cosmic plan.  If I focused on changing the circumstance, what do I feel?  I feel that I am out of alignment with Life.  I am working upstream.

This is not to say that I can never change my circumstance.  This is simply saying that I should first accept it and consider if there is anything within me that needs to change.  Perhaps I need a perspective shift that will allow me to view it in a new light.  I might see that the circumstance does not need to change at all.  Or, the circumstance changes of its own accord.  As I put out higher and higher vibrations, the vibrational field around me will eventually match.  In other words, as I become a more positive, accepting person, my circumstance will improve to be lighter and freer than it was before.  This may be because of my perspective change, the influence of my attitude and actions on others, or the causal effect of external, mysterious forces.  The point is that rather than take the seemingly correct action of attempting to change my external reality, it may be helpful to consider an inside-out approach.

Another example where an inside-out approach may be warranted is when I want to increase my own sense of personal power and self-worth.  One road may be for me to directly attempt to empower myself through perhaps trying to control others or manipulate my circumstance.  Or, I may try to inflate my self-worth through elevating myself in relation to others or accomplishing things that improve my external image.  Rather than attempt to increase these areas directly, it may be more helpful to look deeper at their origin.

Is other words, I need to look at what needs to change within me.  To change me, I take positive actions that invest time and energy into myself.  If I take care of myself and my basic needs, I contribute to my own personal power and sense of self worth.  This is because deficiencies in my personal power may be related to an undeveloped sense of self.  To cultivate a sense of self, I need to devote time and energy into fostering it.  By simply spending time on myself, I am increasing my self-worth through my actions.  I am investing my limited resource of time on me which builds my worth.  If I practice self-care, I am watering, nurturing and fertilizing both my physical body and soul.  This, in turn, is putting money into my "personal power bank."  I am building up a reserve of power that I can draw upon to mindfully wield when challenging situations arise.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Feel Your Emotions

"Just as clouds form when warm air meets cold, so our emotions sit on the boundary between inner peace and outer attachment."

Our emotions are wonderful tools that guide us through this life.  Unlike our thoughts which tend to anchor us in the physical world, our emotions are reactive in nature.  They are neither positive nor negative yet simply float through our inner being.  Emotions, like our thoughts, should be observed and not identified with.

Our emotions originate in the space where our inner world and outer world meet.  Just as clouds form when warm air meets cold, so our emotions sit on the boundary between inner peace and outer attachment.  The greater the attachment to this world, then the greater emotional tumult as we journey within to a place of stillness.  If we realize that emotions are simply doing their job of making their presence known to us, we would not wish to rid ourselves of them, especially the emotions we may label as "negative" but are not really so.  These emotions are sadness, anger, hopelessness, grief, pain, guilt and other similar emotions.

In fact, the more we try and wish these emotions away or cover them up, they become trapped inside us without way of escape.  Like clouds, they need to freely move through our consciousness until they dissipate on their own accord.  Trapped emotions become part of our inner pain.  They will eventually work their way out through acting out behaviors, behaviors that we unconsciously do to bring pain into our lives.  We do this so that we will eventually confront our inner pain.

Instead, feel your emotions.  Go into them and experience them.  At the same time, we are the observer, taking an inner ride through our emotional clouds.  As we feel our emotions, they dissipate on their own, because the inner light of our consciousness eventually breaks through.  As we focus our inner soul radiance on our emotional clouds, we see that our inner joy never left but may have been temporarily obscured. We let our emotions percolate up from the depth of our soul as they expand into Supreme consciousness and are absorbed by the Love that is all there is.

As we journey within, this is why the emotions surface on occasion. Our consciousness begins to shift from attachment to this world and we run into the emotions. They are the fog or mist that separate us from inner peace. If we avoid them, we miss out on the peace that lies just beyond their perimeter. Instead, we brace ourselves and feel our cockpit rattle as we pass through them. Pass through them, we must to get a taste of Divine bliss. The joy in life is in the journey that we take to our destination.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Love Yourself

"I can always be kinder to, more gracious to and more loving of myself."

As I put spiritual truths into practice, I notice, within myself, certain tendencies that I have developed over my life. All of these tendencies had a purpose, at the time, which were simply coping mechanisms to get through life. My ego needed these tendencies to preserve itself. Now that I know that the ego itself is the illusion and my spirit is the reality, these tendencies are no longer needed.

These tendencies are critically thinking about my past or current actions, constantly analyzing past actions to try and learn from them, doubting myself and my current path, diagnosing myself as being one way or the other, and seeing myself as separate or "an abnormality" from popular society. These are just a few that come to mind. As I begin to become aware of these tendencies, I see them as an opportunity to practice spiritual truths. What would my inner life look like if I was truly loving myself?

If I was loving myself, I would only reflect on my successes. I would see ways in which I had done the right thing and try to learn how to replicate that. I would believe in myself and my current path. I would stop labeling myself and see myself as a part of the cohesive whole of humanity. This is not to say that I ignore the negative but that mistakes should be reviewed immediately after they occurred to examine how they could have been avoided. In addition, I think I should think about ways in which the mistake or negative event was a blessing. I also think that any "mind chatter" takes me out of the present moment so I should engage in the practice of a silent mind. My point is, if any reflection is necessary, it should, most of the time, be on ways in which I have succeeded and giving myself the benefit of the doubt every time. I can always be kinder to, more gracious to and more loving of myself.

Before you engage in inner commentary about things you have done or are doing, you can ask yourself these questions first. Is this self review occurring immediately after the action? Have I already reviewed my behavior previously? How can I love myself more through this thought? How has what happened been a blessing in my life?

I sincerely believe that it is much better to err on the side of love. Love yourself thoroughly and completely through every thought. It is the ego that jumps in and asks these questions. How is what I am thinking practical? How else am I going to learn from my mistakes? Aren't I just stuffing my emotions if I do not look at things practically? These questions are all designed to take you out of the present moment. Give yourself unlimited grace, love and acceptance. You can never over-do it, because there is no limit to how much we can love. At the very least, you can replace critical thoughts with the thought of "I love myself." This thought is still dwelling in a space of separation because the "I" implies separateness. You want to get to a place of Being-ness. The highest state we can attain is feeling the Love inside our heart consciously and deliberately as we observe our thoughts, whether positive or negative.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Listen to Yourself

"You can experience true freedom when you learn to listen to that still, small voice inside you and not what anyone else may say, regardless of popularity of circumstance."

On this path, you will encounter both external and internal resistance as I have written about previously.  Conquering the internal resistance helps you when you encounter resistance outside yourself.  For example, recognizing when the ego crops up internally and learning how to observe it, rather than act on it helps your outer life.  When we encounter other's personal egos or even collective egos, we can learn how to observe that too.  Both practices have a synergistic effect on one another, such that you learn how to become an observer in all things.

This is easier said than done unfortunately.  This is because we have all been socialized into an idea of external reality.  This is, of course, the domain of the ego.  The ego thinks that it only exists through the eyes and opinions of other people.  The worth system is reversed.  Rather than obtaining your worth through the sole fact that you are an eternal, supernatural Being, your worth is measured by what others think of you.

A common practice when others are giving you advice is to employ the idea of a "them" or "they."  They may harmlessly refer to a respected group that could either disapprove of you or even affect you in some way.  This is a way for them to reinforce their point, so you may be dealing with a bunch of egos, personal and collective, as a way to sway you.  When we get criticism from others, even constructive, it is like getting a banana peel thrown at you.  What do you do?  You duck, but, before you duck, open the peel and see if there  is a banana in there.  If there is, eat the banana and throw the peel away.  In other words, examine their opinion with your internal Voice and take anything away that is of substance.

We all have people in our lives that will offer unsolicited opinions.  A lot of this opinion does not come from a centered place.  You can quickly see that adopting this opinion as reality, even though it may be popular will bring you into an uncentered place as well.  We, of course, have a few people in our lives that are our spiritual mentors.  They may offer advice that resonates deep within you and not with your ego.

On an energetic level, any time you take on someone else's opinion as your own, you literally are plugging a cable from your energy center to them and energy is being drained from you.  Call back your spirit from that individual or even collective ego that you are plugged into.  Mentally imagine pulling the plug on that cable so that you are free.  You can experience true freedom when you learn to listen to that still, small voice inside you and not what anyone else may say, regardless of popularity of circumstance.

For me, personally, as I unplug from other's opinions, reality begins to shift as these "distortion fields" are removed.  Much of our anxiety comes from attempting to live up to this distorted reality, which, many times, is comprised of future projections.  This is a process that needs to be done continually so that we are not giving our power away to others.  How good it is to experience true freedom that comes with living an authentic life.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Love is Here Now


"You do not have to do anything to experience the vastness and immenseness of the limitless Love that is deep inside your heart."


If there was any one thing that I thought was a central teaching that was being taught to me in the last year, it is this truth.  The first part of this truth, I knew right away intuitively.  I knew that the striving in this world was all for naught.  Love does not require anything from us.  The part I did not know right away was what this striving was trying to achieve.  We constantly are striving to remove the veil of separation between us and Love.  What does this really mean?  It means we are trying to add things into our life in order to feel love and that we are looking outside of ourselves for this love.


The answer is that this Love has always been inside you.  The illusion is that you are separate from it.  You are not.  The truth is that the enormity of this Love is within you, however, you have lacked the awareness of its presence.  This love can only be experienced.  It cannot be analyzed, theorized, or systematized.  In fact, when you try to think about it, you are separate from it.  This love comes from awareness and nothing more.  It is a deep peace, an everlasting joy, an eternal bliss that can be felt in the depth of your being, the very depth of your soul.


The part of us that feels separate from this joy wants to do something to earn it.  We want to strive for it, pursue it, slavishly yearn to be in its presence as we feel we are unworthy of it.  We want to renounce our freedoms, prostrate ourselves, and grovel in its presence, yet this Love does not want to be sacrificed to or idolized.  This Love is You.  As long as we fear it and put it on a pedestal, we continue to put up the illusion of separation from this Love.  In truth, nothing can separate us from this Love.  Once you feel its strength, experience its magnanimity, you will understand.  We do not have to do anything to experience this love.  We do not have to earn it.  We cannot buy it.  It is freely given to all those who will acknowledge its existence.


How freeing and liberating it is to know that this "coming home" is realizing that we are already there!  It frees us from the vehicles of religion, dogma, right acts, service, devotion and countless others that easily become our master rather than a conductive channel to merge us with Love.  This freedom means that there is no one path to love but a path that resonates with your own heart.  It is a journey that you may choose to embark on, on your own volition.  This journey is not even necessary given the realization that You have.  Yet, it is a journey that we take that is motivated by the very Love that called out to us.  We cannot help but want to serve others and allow this love to percolate from our being.  You do not have to do anything to experience the vastness and immenseness of the limitless Love that is deep inside your heart.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

We Are All Energy

"Yield your spirit to the Energy of the universe and see that we are all united and part of one cohesive whole."

There are many levels that are planes of existence.  I will not exhaustively list them all but, among them, are the spiritual, physical and energetic planes.  These are gross simplifications, but the energetic plane is a mixture of the physical and spiritual.

We are all energy.  At a basic level, the molecules of our bodies are composed of mostly empty space.  Energy vibrates at different rates.  The slower it vibrates, we see a condensation into physical matter.  Thoughts vibrate at a faster rate and the spiritual world vibrates at even a faster rate.  In a very real way, we have an entire Universe inside each of us, if we look at things on the energetic level.  Energy unites us all and provides a foundation we can all return to when discussing the spiritual world.

There are many lessons we can learn when we consider reality from the energetic plane.  The first and foremost lesson is that all forms, labels and systems are a trap.  If the thing uniting everything is energy, then we can explain everything in terms of energy.  If we try and assign a label to this or that, it may help our rational mind understand it but, in the end, it is still energy.

For example, I may look at water and have different words for different types of waves, notate how it may change form at various temperatures, and so on.  Others may, simultaneously, be observing this same thing and come up with their own words and notations.  However, can we not see that we are still studying water?  It is when I say that my theory and names are the one, true way that I run into problems.  Now, it is no longer about water but about the names or forms I have given it.

Similarly, if we can understand that the spiritual world is no different, then we have taken a very evolved spiritual step in our progress.  In the end, we are talking about energy.  It is this energetic component that unites us all.  To talk about it, we need the names, forms and labels.  Yet, to get caught up in these currencies we use to exchange ideas about the spiritual world is to miss the forest for the trees.  Yield your spirit to the Energy of the universe and see that we are all united and part of one cohesive whole.