Saturday, November 12, 2011

Be Kind to Yourself, Part 2

"Your weaknesses are perfect parts of you that balance you out and make you into a complete, whole Being."

How you view the world is a direct reflection of your internal state, the way you view yourself, your beliefs, what you consider your advantages and shortcomings.  It is so easy to lose sight of this.  Our perception of reality is so inherently biased that it cannot even really be called "reality" by another person.  It is when we perceive our "reality" as the one true reality that big problems begin to arise, but that is the topic for another time.  We should always be mindful that we subjectively view people, situations and things in our life through a distorted lens.  People and things are not bad or good, but only when we label them as such.

There is not a single person who views their actions as not being motivated by "good" yet we may label them otherwise.  Who is right?  In truth, there is no right as seeking such an answer is to say there is a wrong way to live in this world.  We are all on a path and are in different states of spiritual evolution.  Each state is not better than the other yet it is just different and we are to love and respect all in the way in which they live their life.

You can use how you view others as a tool to go deeper into yourself.  If someone is late to meet you and then explains to you a genuine story why and profusely apologizes, you will accept their apology.  If someone wrongs you in some way, yet genuinely apologizes, you will forgive them.  Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we have such a different standard.  If you are late, you beat yourself up the entire time for why you are running late and feel guilty about it.  If you wrong someone, you endlessly relive the moment and try to change the past in your mind.  Treat yourself with as much love and kindness as you treat others.  You are to see yourself as God sees you, which is perfect.

Just as you are to look at the world with a lens of Love, you are to look at yourself with that same Everlasting Love.  You are a Loving, Eternal Being, full of compassion and goodness.  What does it mean to look at yourself through a lens of Love?  You are literally only able to see light, your good qualities and attributes.  It is not to say that you are blinded to anything negative but that that negative becomes a positive when looking at it in this way.  When looking at a weakness, you give yourself the benefit of the doubt as to why you have it, and you are so enamored with love for yourself that you literally see it as a strength.  Maybe there is a corresponding strength that gives rise to the weakness.  Maybe this weakness has brought situations into your life for the good.  Yet, the more that we focus on this weakness through the eyes of Love, we see it as perfected.  Your weaknesses are perfect parts of you that balance you out and make you into a complete, whole Being.  Pour love into your weaknesses.

I think it is important to note that, when looking at yourself, do not see the past or the future.  Feeling good or bad about past events is taking you away from yourself.  It is true that the past can give you clues as to your tendencies, and that is fine.  However, do not focus on specific things that happened.  They are over and done with.

For example, I have a tendency to be late to things.  This, in itself, is not a weakness, just an observation.  Being late is certainly rooted in a point in time and is focused on the past or future.  A better way to interpret this is that I tend to optimistically view things as taking less time than they actually take.  At the same time, I tend to focus more on myself, what I need to do, then how I make others feel when they are waiting for me.  So, the root is ego-based as most weaknesses are.  My associated strengths are that I am very optimistic and am more people or event-driven than time-driven.  I give myself the benefit of the doubt in that I am so focused on what is before me, I lose sight that I am disrespecting others in being late.  I see this weakness as perfected in that it is a necessary part of me that makes me who I am.  I love this weakness, accept myself just the way that I am because of it, and do not wish to change it.

The general principle is to see yourself as a whole person and have utmost compassion for yourself.  As you long to be in a relationship with a lover that loves you passionately and unconditionally, you must too love yourself.  Be in love with yourself.  It is only when you truly love yourself that you can love another.  As your internal view of yourself begins to shift, you will see that your outward perspective will shift as well.  You will have more compassion for others and will be a light that others will see and gravitate towards.

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